Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I'll be waiting there

Attention: Attention: Attention:
The shit has hit the fan.

Well, looks like I'll be getting an apartment at the end of the month. Sooner then I had estimated I would be getting an apartment of any sorts. I know that right now--at my current funds--moving to California would be a big mistake. I still plan to move in June-July. But right now I cannot afford it.

And will I be able to afford it in June-July?

Good question. Not really. But I'll have more then I do now and probably a little bit of assistance. Which is always a good thing.

So, pretty much, my mother is tired of my attitude. Which is kind of the result of thousands of years of evolution reaching the point of 16,17,18 where you and your parents just do not get along. And I've reached the breaking point and was told to leave.


Right now she has to deal with me for another couple of weeks until the apartment is finalized, but it shouldn't be the hardest thing in the world. I'm actually going to be making a trip to the unemployment and food stamps offices pretty shortly to see if I qualify. Who knows. No one really does, but a friends sister says it probably will. Then again, I'm taking this as reliable sources.

Looks like all the mistakes I didn't want to be making, all the places I didn't want to be at, I am officially at/making. I'm not particularly proud of myself right now, but I have the feeling it's for the best.

So that's what's been happening in my life recently.

Besides getting the writing back. Which was shiny.

And thus goes life. Ever-changing, ever-evolving, ever-flowing. David says he wished it could have gone different (he's kinda depressed right now), but I told him that some things just have to happen. You know, like that whole cocoon and butterfly metaphor.

There you go.

Good news is; I get to keep a lot of my stuff. The bad news is; I don't know if I'll be able to survive.

Two quotes:

"As soon as man does not take his existance for grated, but beholds it as something unfathonably mysterious, though begins."
-Albern Schweitzer

"'There is no hope.'
'We're both alive, and for all I know, that is hope'"
-"Henry II" The Lion in Winter

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

My goodness.

I just bought a snake.

I thought you all should know.

Friday, October 07, 2005

There's always a siren singing you to shipwreck.

My dear jesus hanging on a cross...

I'm so fucking tired right now. Just tired. Really, really tired. This is the second day in a row that I've had to defend my moral, spiritual and political standing more then TWICE in a day. And not the short, "Fuck you" conversations, the really, really long ones. Which, um... those are draining. If I have to explain AGAIN to someone what a non-monogamous relationship is, what I worship, and how much Bush is a fucking asshole, I think I'm going to explode.

And then, above all, there's finals next week. NEXT WEEK. As in, this weekend I shouldn't surface from my textbooks. And shit, I let my room get into such a mess I can barely walk.

...I really want to play a video game right now, and maybe get a little drunk.

I have a "I'll do it tomorrow" mentality I really need to break. And I have that "but..." surfacing up in my psyche but NOT RIGHT NOW. I have to study. Shit fuck.

This is going to break me. I know it.

Wanna hear what I gotta do? Now I know, it's a HELL of a lot less then what I'd be doing if I was going for my bachelors, masters, doctorate right now, but this is a little stressful for ME right NOW.

Anyway... in English I'm writing an 8-12 page paper (no shortcuts by going up on a font size, either) on the pro's and con's of the fast food empire. I'm reading, "Fast Food Nation" by Eric Schlosser, which I haven't made much of a dent in, so I really need to finish that tonight so I can cite it in my works. I really love the stuff I've gotten from it so far, but I KNOW there's more in there that'll be even more sinful. That and I've seen "Supersize Me", have personal interviews from friends that have worked in the fast food places, and have accessed the McDonald's website (will research more chains later) about 20,000 times.

Algebra is the exam. The big one. All 6 chapters we've covered in the last eight weeks. I'm going through all the chapter and then section reviews. Going through all my previous tests. Anything that I can't figure out IMMEDIATLEY I must STUDY.

Philosophy is not exam time, thank god. But I do need to write four 4-page essays on the chapters I've "read" so far. So lots of writing...


Now I need a drink.

Will talk later. Need food. Need study. Need sleep. You'll hear from me in about a week, probably.

Your quotes (it's a double this time since you won't be seeing me for a while)

"To fear love is to fear life and those who fear life are already three-parts dead."
-Bertrand Russell

"He who fights too long against the monster becomes the monster himself; And if you gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will gaze into you."

"Try to love someone who you want to hate. Because they're just like you. Somewhere inside. In a way you may never expect, in a way that resounds so deeply inside you that you cannot believe it."
-Margaret Cho

"To live a creative life, we must loose our fear of being wrong."
-Joseph Chilton Pearce

Sunday, October 02, 2005

A power outage.

I was in the middle of a long blog entry and a good conversation with D.B. Echo when my power went out. Actually, more like there was a power surge and all the electronics in the house EXCEPT my computer were OK. So I apologize to you, Echo, I know that the conversation was cut off, but it caught me off guard as well.

Onto another note, I'm still trying to put my room back together. It's going, but there's still a hell of a lot to do. At least my 436 books are taken care of. Those were a pain in the ass. Serious pain in the ass.

But I did some interesting new decoration techniques. I'm now mixing my antique/classic/neo asian/pagan theme with a grungy alternative theme. Not the word I was looking for. But steel trash cans for seats and a sign from "the department of transport" that says, "No Standing, No Stopping, No Parking NO KIDDING." Don't know why I like that thing so much.

I'm thinking of getting either a neon light that says "Books" or just one of your classic "Open" ones. I need neon in this room, damn it.

I'll take pictures when it's all done. Of course there are the new hardwood floors in here, which are nice. "hardwood", really. It's that laminate floor stuff. Still, it's very pretty.

I got a new book yesterday; "A Thousand and One Nights". We all know what that is.

It's next to my Complete William Shakespeare Works (leather bound, just like the aforementioned book), and "The Basic teachings of the Great Philosophers".


Yesterday was our nine-month, me and Eddie. We had a little too short of a phone call for my taste, but he was converting his family to Firefly, so it was forgivable. Not like I'd get mad at him for things like that anyway. Still living with your entire parental and family unit can be a little annoying... to say the least.

Listening to my radio station for entertainment recently. I watched my first television in a long assed time last night. Samurai Champloo on Adult Swim. I love that show, and I have no idea why. A little bit of Chris Rock standup and I was ready to go to bed. Still don’t' have much in the way of bedding in my room. One of my sheets is blocking the entire neighborhood from seeing me nude, and I don't exactly have much room to make use of what little supplies I have with my cat hogging the friggen bed.

You wouldn't think a twelve pound ball of fluff would have the ability to take up half the bed, but you'd be surprised. He's a very flexible thing. But nonetheless, I like that he's sleeping with me again, and all through the night as well. He didn't used to do that. I think he's happy with me letting him out again.

Speaking of my cat, yesterday when my bed was piled high with my four hundred plus books, he and the other two napped amongst them for about three hours. It was the cutest thing, and I was reminded yet again how much I wanted my cats to be book cats in my own little privately owned bookstore. That would be loverly.

Cats do seem to enjoy books an awful lot.

So I think I've covered the last forty-eight hours properly. Oh! I did have an "argument" with a friend. We're keeping our distance right now. But this is the first time in seven years of knowing him that it's gotten to this point. It has gotten increasingly worse recently, but I didn't make much of it until Friday night. Damn, this pisses me off. Don’t' really want to discuss all of it.

Well, there you are. I blogged for you. Be happy. Here are your two quotes:

"Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is the current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept away and another takes its place, and this too is swept away."
-Marcus Aurelius

"If you want to stop wasting your time in vain fantasies, perform every act in life as though it were your last."
-Marcus Aurelius